my kingdom woodland ..............

 ahhhhhh,yes,I love the quiet and country sounds that comes from miles of nothing but trees, thickets,rivers,snakes,lizards,coyotes and my favorite the farmers auto explosion every 15 min. device for keeping deer away from crops.when you hear this ever 15 min ,24 hours a day,you know you are living in the country !  this could very possibly account for the numerous farmers shot every planting season. these shootings  are often called accidental shootings but if you are in hearing distance of one of these machines[ this would be within  200 miles] you would know these shootings were not accidental but a warning .  SHUT OFF THAT  MACHINE OR NEXT TIME I WILL NOT MISS .that's a country warning . missing is considered a flesh wound .  not missing means your dead. these gun shots are not to be confused with the '' I got me a coyote stealing a chicken gun shot'' '' ''or the get off my propriety you city revenuer gunshot'' [propriety tax man]  of course learning the difference is an acquired skill and the sooner the better. or you will be calling 911 every day for nothing because they will ask you which shot you heard. if you don't know they will brand you as a phony  caller attempting to take the police away from more important calls such as a squabbling  at the Franklin Noodling contest over who's mud cat is bigger. By the way my city slicker, condo living son, Binky, corrected my name for the man eating, breath stealing vine I called listeria.He said it is wisteria ............. and  all this time I thought the people here talked with a lisp . listeria,wisteria, hysteria it will steal your breath looking very beautiful as it consumes you..............

why people over 50 should live in a condo and could never be survivalist l

There was a time in my life ,maybe even two weeks ago, that  I believed condo life was too restrictive for me  .after all there is no green spring grasses rapidly growing, demanding to be cut every 4 days or you may be devoured by its  flesh destroying  persistence to consume your every waking moment. Then there is that wonderful sweet smelling honeysuckle   that so beautifully twists its way through any and every fence ,post, crack or lawn chair that sits for than 15 unattended moments . oh, how I would miss its thorns, the ones you never see  but that you quickly learn are there when you attempt to break loose your weed eater from its grasp ! and what about those mud holes that  all too quickly develop from the warm, spring rains .you know the ones that  suck you  up to your knee caps when step off your back porch to put out the garbage.I understand such things do not exists in condo neighborhoods.  I think I would really miss all that green pixie dust that covers anything beyond the inside of my front door .if I leave a window open it will gladly cover everything on the inside of that door also. this allows me to omit dusting for fear of  upsetting the eco system or angering those pixies that so lovingly spread that stuff around. and if we all lived in condos the manufactures of allergy pills,rubber boots , lawn and garden equipment, bug spray, Tylenol [ for the headaches all this causes] flea and tick products , calamine lotion ,and so much more , would go out of business .this would cost large numbers of people to loose their jobs . the job losses would cause.............. I really don't want to go there. I am too tired from breathing  in all that  green pixie dust and  struggling to pull myself out of the mud where I stepped  wearing 1 pink rubber boot when I tried to free my  other pink rubber boot from the grasp of the listeria plant [whom I am sure is the evil cousin of the honeysuckle.  but that's another story.I can't help but wonder just how long it would take for me to be completely consumed by nature if I never, mowed,plucked,trimmed , or chopped  again.I can see it on the 6 o clock  news , woman, wife, sister ,mother of two, found covered in green pixie dust  with a combo of honeysuckle and listeria vines woven securely about her body.she was wearing pink rubber boots .more at 11................

COCO AND CAT TAILS

Today I met the keeper of coco and cat tails of a far away unknown  kingdom .
His is name is ''CoCoPuff'' . He is  a very wise coco and cat tail designer . Every time you enjoy a cup of fine coco or admire a beautiful cat tail it was designed by CoCoPuff.  He also possess the knowledge of  printer fandangling .[ you know one of those machines that slurps up tree bark and puts letters and such on it.] He has mastered this rare skill and shares it with anyone who is in need of  fandangling . I have invited him to share his vast knowledge of all things coco, cat tails and fandangling plus any other knowledge he may have on the sisterhood bloggarama . look for his comments. you will recognize him by his coco mustache .                  angora

I have that deer suit

Several years back when I wanted to start hunting with Ernst I begged and begged him to take me. He told me he was going to let me borrow his special lucky outfit to hunt in to bring me good luck. This is it! I have not wore it yet because I need to loose another 256# to be able to get into it. He makes me try to get into it every day to see if I am getting close to be able to wearing it. He is so excited for me to be able to get into it and go into the woods with the other hunters but knows I will be the lucky one because I will be wearing the lucky suit. I am soooooo loved.

The Perfect OUTFIT ...............

OUTFIT IDEA

Pros-  1- great for Christmas time sales  2- will keep Arabella warm 3 -Antlers can be used as weapon against muggers
Cons-  1- hot in the summer .2 may attract unwanted affection from other deer 3  may get shot by hunters

Wonderful Idea BUT.........

Arabella will freeze to death wearing that outfit in February but not before she will be forced to sell  all her cookies, then left to die by the roadside after the girl scout leader takes all her money  .  BUT this is a perfect example of  how girl scouts will use any means to sell those over priced  catastrophes they call cookies. what other group expects a person to go out dressed like that in the cold pushing cookies. only the girl scouts would even consider such a method, they are ruthless  .I can appreciate  the fact that Arabella seeks a business opportunity but I think she should rethink using the girl scout image and their cookies . she is a very good cook and she could market her own cookies and outfit , who needs those sleazy,cruel girl scouts that jump out from behind every bush shoving boxes of cookies in your face demanding money ...... I am scared to go out or answer my door  during one of their cookie intimidation drives. And what about fat people. they don't care about fat  people . they will force them to buy their cookies . they will hunt them down  because they prey on the sweet tooth addict . they will stand outside of weight watchers  all day and shove cookies in the face of all who dare to seek refuge behind those doors .  It is heartbreaking .I have personally witnessed people giving in at the door of a weight watcher clinic .I have seen them fall to their knees, only to be loaded down with boxes of cookies  by girl scouts  looming over them laughing as they demanded payment. There should be laws against such intimidation . Arabella can change all this suffering. she can offer a fat persons cookie .I know she can create the perfect recipe and the perfect outfit to wear when she sells them. I can see it now Arabella's Fat Person Cookie, eat as many as you want because they are created from love and air . you will feel loved   from the love and you will never gain weight from air. it is the perfect cookie. now lets design an outfit .........