Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Part 1


The Almost True Adventures of The Green Onion Scallion Cat

Sisterhood

Once upon a real time there lived 3 very beautiful and not so wise sisters. Angora ,the eldest, Arabella the middle sister and Be Delia the youngest .Each sister lived in very different far away kingdom, living a very different life. But although they lived far apart they shared 3 important loves that made them a sisterhood, cats ,green onion scallions and French orange donuts . They were not at all picky about the cats they loved however they were very picky about green onion scallions and the French orange donuts they ate ! The cats they loved could be of any color, size or temperament. Long hair, short hair, no hair, blind, cripple, tall, short, fat or skinny, they just loved cats. The green onion scallions had to be grown in the garden of someone's father ,because fathers grow things in a special way that no one else can . The French orange donuts were only to be found at the old French baking shop in a village closest to Angora's far away village . Now it should be known that these sisters were separated for a very long time . Angora was banished from the sisterhood and even from the family because she believed in the invisible King . Arabella,  Be Delia and even Angora's always busy, mostly cranky, son Jonathan [ who also lived in another far away land and managed a giant castle] believed she should keep her mouth shut about this King and His invisible kingdom . They said it was always yada ,yada,yada with her about that King . Angora also had a daughter [ Lucy,who worked all the time for a local animal repair station in the next village ] and son-in- law[''Anthony Mr .Two Sword'', he was very much into weapons] they also didn't want to hear about the invisible King . But life goes on and  so  one day Angora's husband McDougal was bitten by a dust bunny and became  very ill. Angora decided to send Be Delia [ who also believed in the invisible King but kept it a secret] a message by carrier pigeon [ no email at that time] asking her to plead McDougal's case to the invisible king because McDougal was slowly floating away to the invisible kingdom. He languished for several days but the invisible king granted all request to send him back to Angora . She was very, very happy . Now this dust bunny attack opened the door for a sisterhood restoration and Angora and Be Delia began to converse on a regular bases . They spent many hours researching dust bunny bites and cures. You see, Be Delia had once suffered the bite of dust bunny herself and she had been annoyed many years by the parakeets the dust bunny's leave in your system. Those parakeets chirp and peck all day .So she had compassion for McDougal . As for Arabella, she had little time for chatter because she worked very long hours at the village bridal shop , fashioning wedding invites out of leaves, twigs and dried animal skins given to her by animals who were tired of their old skin and bought new ones. Be Delia is well known among the villagers as a mighty hunter of all things yummy . She single handedly  has captured more sweet potato pies than anyone else in the village, maybe even the world . Arabella also had custody of Bo Bo , the village jester [ fruitloop ] and this takes up the remainder of her time and patience . But in spite of all the road blocks[ fallen trees ,boulders, fruitloops, ect] Arrabella manages to carve a few messages to Angora and Be Delia in a tree stump , or dirt mound on the road way to everywhere . Angora and Be Delia understood Arrabella had little time for pie hunting, or chatter with so many wedding invites to fashion+ keeping track of Bo Bo ,well that's another story . So anyway ,very early one morning Angora was thinking on sending Arabellia and Be Delia a special gift . Something no one else possessed. As she looked about the village shops and she spotted 4 armadillo shells sitting under a table in ye old armadillo 4 of a kind slipper designer shop .Perfect ! because there were only 4 of a kind and the shop would be closing after selling those beautiful slippers. The shells were donated by 4 armadillos who had new ones made for a village wedding .They had received invites made by Arabella and they wanted to look their very best . Anyway, Angora had the designer of the  only 4 of a kind armadillo slippers design 2 pair of slippers using up all 4 armadillo shells and then closing the store forever. She rushed home to wrap up her gifts and shipped them by usps ,united serpents post office, because they can get thru the heaviest brush ,deepest valleys and darkest caves to the other lands far away. Be Delia was the first to get her slippers. She was thrilled and wore them everyday to hunt for deer antler velvet used for dust bunny bite victims throughout the land. She is so thoughtful and brave. Arabella received her slippers next but didn't know they had arrived because Bo Bo the fruitloop jester had hidden them from her in hopes of trading them for extra cats . Only 4 of a kind armadillo slippers can fetch a lot of cats on the open market and BoBo wasn't about to miss the opportunity to add to his cat collection. Bo Bo had about only 600 cats at the time the slippers arrived ,not nearly enough for him. But alas, before Bo Bo could get the slippers out of hiding Be Delia got a message to Arabella that a special gift was waiting for her and that she should seriously question BoBo about the where about' s of that gift . When Arabella arrived home that night from a very long day fashioning wedding invites she searched all the secret places where she knew Bobo would hide such things and wella ! she found two of the the 4 of

a kind armadillo slippers. She was very happy and immediately put them on her very tired feet and all 600 of Bobos cats began to dance around her . She forgave Bo Bo for trying to trade her slippers for more cats, even though they didn't have enough , because she knew BoBos heart and she knew he would find a way to get more cats .So she went to sleep that night wearing her slippers and dreaming of green onion scallions and French orange donuts. Be Delia came home that same night from a long hunt and dried her slippers by the fire .She polished up the antler velvet she was able to secure from the rare antler velvet donating deer as she waited for a pot of " pigtail collards by Earnest" to finish cooking . Ern was a popular preparer of pigtails and greens .He alone knew just where the pigs left their tails and he collected them by the zillions preparing pots and more pots of this special brew. Ern gave BeDelia a big bowl to eat to regain her strength and then he set out to collect more pig tails . Be Delia eat and fell fast asleep……………

TO BE CONTINUED